Happy Valentine’s Day!
As Grandmother used to say, “Ain’t love grand?”
We hope you have a great weekend and get out on a date with your spouse! Below, we hope you’ll find something cheerful, encouraging or even gently challenging from our reflections on being couples ourselves.
The authors of these Marriage Reflections from the Powderhorn are three generations of True families: Hunter and Hailey, 2 years; Harrison and Meghan, 4 years; Steven and Hannah, 10 years; Kip and Christina, 36 years; and, drum roll please… Diemer and Susie, 58 years!!
On small, everyday things that our spouses do that make us smile:
• “When I join Diemer for a morning coffee, he always says, “Good morning, love of my life”. After 58 years, it still warms my heart!”
• Wife: “I smile on the inside that he almost always says “goodnight” before falling asleep.
Husband: “…and I find it funny that she STILL tells me every time she’s about to go do part of her evening routine that she’s been doing every day since we married.”
• Wife: “He always gets his laundry within a foot of the basket but never all the way in.”
• “I love that my wife always welcomes me home from work with a hug and a kiss. It makes me feel appreciated!”
On marriage advice we learned the hard way — but now we can laugh about it.
• “Don’t take everything personally! You are responsible for managing your own attitude, thoughts and responses, regardless of how your spouse is doing that day.”
• “One day years ago, Diemer came home from work and said he may need to open a truck shop in North Dakota. This Wyoming wife, began thinking of ways to move their 2 babies to cold North Dakota. Diemer saw my consternation and immediately said, “Susie, we are not moving to North Dakota. I am simply laying out thoughts for an expansion of our business. To this day, when Diemer says, ”We are not moving to North Dakota . . . but-“ I know he has a new idea to consider!”
• “Boys are not girls!”
• “Don’t throw away his old T-shirts no matter how many holes they have. All 45 of them are ‘sentimental.”
• “Don’t eat her chocolate!”
On staying connected when life is especially busy or stressful:
• “We try to say to one another, ‘There’s a lot going on, how are you doing?’ and ‘I would like to invest in you, what is a good way to do that this week?’”
• “A big hug after others depart. Time to reflect on our thoughts, feelings and impressions of our stressful times. We always laugh after.”
Things we admire in others’ relationships…
• “When they never stop pursuing each other even when they’ve been through every stage of marriage.”
• “The way they live graciously with each other’s differences.”
• “When you can sense the friendship under the romance, and you sense mutual commitment well beyond feelings.”
• “I love when you see couples that have made the decision and done the hard work to keep the spark of love alive through the years! They are so much more than roommates, they’re still the Love of each other’s lives. It’s so inspiring!”
On the books, speakers or sources that encourage us…
• “Focus on the Family podcasts are a weekly staple for me as a wife! We’ve also gained a lot of value in (slowly) reading through a marriage book together or in a small group with other couples. One of the courses we liked was ‘A Lasting Promise’ by Prep Inc.”
• “‘The Meaning of Marriage,’ by Timothy Keller.”
• “A strong community of other couples around us who are dedicated to doing life alongside us, and nurturing their own marriages! Being around other great husbands and wives, both within our family and in our friend group, has been a great source of inspiration and encouragement!”
Finally, we noticed a clear trend when we compiled these thoughts from around the family — we have each learned to make regular time together as a couple. You may have your own habit for making this happen, or perhaps you will consider adopting one we use:
On a simple tradition or routine that means alot to us as couples…
• “Time alone at the end of the day to sit in ‘our chairs’ wherever we are and exchange News of the Day.”
• “Eating dinners together.”
• “Every night we read a chapter of the Bible together. We have been doing this as a couple since before we were married, and it has become an automatic habit over time that has kept us growing in our relationship with God — together!”
• “As a couple, we dedicate the last hour of our day, from when we put kids down for bed until we turn out the lights, for “Spouse Hour.” This has helped us to stay connected and intentional in our relationship, even through the often-chaotic days of raising a family, working on the ranch and working in the family business.”
• “I’d rather head to bed around 11 and she’d prefer 8:30. But we have kept the same 9:30 bedtime for decades so that we always have a bit of solitude together.”
• “Catching up over coffee after the kids have gone to bed.”
But wait, there’s more: for the parents of young children, we offer this bonus habit from the Foreman household :
• “We have a weekly tradition of dedicating every Thursday night to spend time as a family. We call it Special Family Night, and our kids look forward to it all week! It has been a very special time to be intentional about having fun together and building memories as a family!”
From all of us, Happy Valentine’s Day, and may God bless your relationships!
